Over-sharing has reached epdemic proportions

If you think the national obesity crisis is bad, then read on to find out how we are over flowing more than our jeans. Over-sharing personal information has reached epidemic proportions. This mouth-on-speaker phone phenomenon is destroying businesses faster than a speeding bullet. It's like a cancer that slowly spreads and eventually takes you out.

You are especially at risk if you render any type of ongoing personal service. Hair stylist, estheticians, personal trainers, massage therapist, front desk staff, financial planners, to name a few, are ranting and raving, complaining about their personal lives to their clients to a degree previously unknown. Not only are they bad mouthing their significant other and family members they are often guilty of annihilating the very business they are working in or for. They hold no secrets when it comes to even the most intimate health problem. This massive unburdening to clients is totally inappropriate and is often the reason why client don't come back.

Your clients are NOT your friends.
Personally, I have heard detailed stories about romantic  relationships with no intimate detail left out, domestic violence, extreme religious view points, drug or alcohol abuse issues, problems with teenagers, cheating spouses, financial and credit problems, and the list goes on. The "ick" factor increases when I know and have business or personal relationships with the person they are targeting.

Your clients will settle for less
Have you ever had a client leave and go to another provider who is not as good as you are? Over-sharing may be the reason. We will take a lesser service for a better experience. For example, I will take a good haircut over a great hair cut if it is served up without a cocktail of misery.

When I am paying for a service, I expect to have your full attention. End  of story. If you need to download, unload, or otherwise commiserate, please do so on your own time with an appropriate person. Note to self: this is not your client.

The Bartender Business Model
There is an easy example to keep in your mind, bartenders; The old school kind. People often go to their local bar to "drown their problems." The stereotypical bar keep listens, gives the occasional nod and pours them another drink.  In any movie or TV show have  you ever seen the bartender unload on the drinker? No. The bartender knows the job is to serve drinks. Can you image going to a bar, ordering up a beer, and having it served up with the comment, I am sorry this took so long, I just got off the phone with my boyfriend, well, former boyfriend, see he just broke-up with me. Can you believe he did it over the phone?! What a pig! Just the thought of this comment should make you cringe. And yet this, is the type of over-sharing that goes on all the time.

Bartenders know it's a one way street. Clients may choose to over-share, but bartenders know their place. Their place is to serve their patrons drinks. It is not to serve up their problems. They know it is not about them.

If you are not getting repeat business and referrals are few and far between, you may want to look at your interactions with clients. It may very well be something you said.

Do you think over-sharing is an issue?

Insidious Handmade Signs of Offense

You see them everywhere – hand made signs posted in small businesses. They reek of owner anger and frustration. The “DON’T LET DOOR SLAM!!!!” sign hastily written with a big black marker on a page ripped right out of a spiral notebook and pasted up with now yellowed scotch tape still holds the negative emotions of it’s author.

Brutal warnings: No credit cards taken, Cancellations without 24 hours notice will be charged, No cell phones in lobby, No tips on the credit card, are a few common examples.
The signs are typically born out of necessity from client behaviors that are deemed unacceptable. These sneaky handmade signs creep into your business slowly over time. After a few years in business, it is typical to have three to five of these small threats posted in obvious places around your space. You and your staff stop seeing them. They are only noticed when someone breaks one of your posted rules or asks directly about it.

These insidious handmade signs create a terrible first impression. They are beacons warning the potential new customer to BEWARE!

Handmade signs in restaurants often become soiled because of the environment. Like a dirty bathroom, they create a large amount of doubt in the cleanliness of the kitchen and the care of which the food is prepared and handled.

If unfriendly and unforgiving are messages you don’t want to send, you might want to look at your place of work with “new eyes.” Walk into and really look and notice what someone coming in for the first time sees. You might be shocked.

Can the messages on the insidious handmade signs be soften?
Don’t slam the door could be “Please close the door gently.”
No credit cards taken could be “Cash only, please. ATM on site.”

Are the messages necessary and relevant?
Once it is up, it is always up unless someone takes it down. Recently I was at a doctor’s office and they had an insidious handmade sign that said excuse the flood mess our offices are being remodeled. I immediately looked for signs of flooding, which I did not find, then I looked for signs of remodeling, which I did not find. Which left me, and no doubt others, puzzled.

The same office had signs up not to use cell phone which seemed really outdated as people carrying on conversations in public has almost vanished.  I did check my email on my phone, but felt like I was breaking the rules by doing so.

Can you fix the problem that the sign is addressing?
If you have a door that slams, can you put a slow closing mechanism on it that prevents that? If you don’t take tips on credit cards, how could you start taking tips on credit cards? Or could you install an ATM onsite?

If you find certain message are needed, then take a few moments to consider how they can be worded to sound friendlier. Don’t forget the magic words of please and thank you.  Take the time to type them out on your computer, format them nicely and print them out. To make a professional presentation spend a few dollars and get an acrylic stand or display for them. A wide variety of holders are available at large office supply stores.

What are your thoughts on the insidious handmade sign? Have they crept into your workplace?

What went right in 2012?

Now that the potential Mayan end of the world has passed and we can collectively breathe a sigh of relief, it is time to consider what went right this past year.  Specifically what went right in your professional life? It is important to acknowledge and honor things done well before we dive into goal setting for 2013.

There are the big, obvious things that went right; such as you landed that ideal client or perhaps two. Or you made more money, had more speaking gigs, launched a new product or finally got your book out. Many years we don’t have this kind of landmark progress. Even or especially in really tough years, we do have steady incremental forward movement.

 Take a moment and think about the small things that went right.

• Do you now know how to do something you didn’t know how to do before? (Everyone gets to check this one off, as it is impossible to function in the business world today without learning new things.)
• Did you become a better writer?
• Do you have more connections on LinkedIn? Even one more?
• Did you get a new headshot?
• Did you get more involved in social media?
• Did you improve your skill set in a certain area?
• Did you take a class or engage in any type of training, even a webinar?
• Did you get a piece of professional attire that you feel really good in?
• Did you just make it through a really tough year, in one piece?
• Did you make up a new personal rule or motto this year?
• Did you laugh more? Or lose your temper less?

Big things done once are often overrated while small improvements over time are underrated or may even go unnoticed. Give yourself a big congratulations for all the small things done right.

Tell me, what went right for you?

Red and Green an Exclusive Color Scheme

The Grinch may have stole Christmas, but Christmas owns the colors red and green. By the time we become adults we have seen this combination millions of times and it is burned into our subconscious. When we see these two colors used together we immediately associate them with Christmas.

It can be July and we can be looking at an ad for Turtle Wax, but when we see red and green, our brain thinks Christmas. For this reason, it’s a color combination rarely used for anything outside of this holiday. The color scheme’s exclusivity has become self-perpetuating!

There are several theories to why green and red are the Christmas colors. The Christian faith believes that green symbolizes everlasting life and red symbolizes the blood of Christ. This is by far the most popularly held belief.

Another theory dates back to the 14th Century when churches put on religious plays. In December, the production would reenact the scene in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. An evergreen tree was brought in to serve as the Tree of Life, since it was the only tree green at this time of year. Red apples were hung on the tree. The green symbolizes the tree and the color red symbolizes the apples. As the story goes, the people liked this so much they started bringing trees into their own homes and decorating them, starting the tradition of the Christmas tree.

Many cultures prior to the death of Christ used evergreen trees and holly as decoration in the cold winter months. The Pagan festival of the Yule used the colors of red, green, silver and gold. Once again the same colors repeat.

This is one holiday that is easy on retailers because they can say “Christmas” by using green and red without the risk of being politically incorrect. With December 25th fast approaching, be sure to get the most out of these seasonal colors before they go back in the closet to keep orange and black company.

Does your audience want what you’re giving them?

At this time of year, many of us are out and about buying gifts for friends and loved ones. When selecting a gift we imagine what the person might need or want. You may think about their lifestyle, what struggles they are going through, what they do for a living, where they live and even how old they are.

Or you may give them what you think they need, without any regard for whether they think they need it or not.

As simple as gift buying sounds, it’s often not easy. Surely, you have memories of gifts gone wrong on both the giving and receiving ends. This is why gift cards and liberal return policies are so popular. It is also why the term re-gifting is now in our vocabulary and applies to many items beside fruitcake.

Often we need to dig a little deeper. Sometimes that can be as simple as asking a question or two. Take time to implement a little of what we refer to as “honest curiosity.”

Here are a few examples:

For your sister, whom is a new mom living in a cold climate; you start shopping for a beautiful, warm, but washable sweater. AND, after speaking with her and asking a few questions, you find out that she REALLY misses spending time alone with her husband. You finally decide on movie tickets with babysitting included. Both of these gifts are significantly different than what you think she needs, which is a case of Slim-Fast.

For your aging parents, who “have everything,” you assume something consumable is in order. You start researching what shows are playing at their local theatre companies. Since they don’t drive at night anymore, you want to be sure they offer a matinee. AND, after emailing with your dad it comes out that what they REALLY want is a new, small TV for the kitchen and someone to figure out how to hook it into the cable box. Both of these gifts are different than what you think they need, which is a nose hair-trimmer.

For your teenage niece, who is in the band at her high school, you think a set of nail polish in her school colors would be a big hit. You can even imagine her at the football games with her brightly colored nails. AND, after asking a few questions, you find out what is REALLY important to her is to have the latest hand held gaming device. Both of these gifts are different than what you think she needs, which is a t-shirt you can’t see through.

When we are gift buying it’s natural to consider the “audience,” in this case, the person receiving the gift. In the examples above, the first gift idea wasn’t necessarily a poor choice; it just wasn’t the best choice. It wasn’t what they really wanted. And what you really wanted to give them is as different as a TV and a nose-hair trimmer.

As we go through our day-to-day business lives, the same concept of considering the audience always applies. If we can remember whom we are talking to and what their needs, wants and desires are, we have a much better chance of communicating with them effectively. When we take it one step further and practice “honest curiosity” to find out what the unmet need really is we can be even more effective in obtaining our desired result.

When you use this approach the audience, whether it is one or many, will feel like they have received a gift after interacting with you.

The question to ask yourself is: Does your audience want what you’re giving them?

The Foolproof Technique for People Who Can’t Stand Introducing Themselves

If you can’t stand to answer the question "What do you do?" keep reading. Here is an easy-to-remember, easy-to-use technique that is conversational in nature. It gets the job done with only three lines.

First start by stating the problem you solve. The line starts with "You know how (insert problem)? in the form of a question.

The second line starts with "What I do is (insert how you solve the problem.)

The third line starts with “I’m a (insert your job title.)

Put it all together for a foolproof self-intro that works every time; Perfect for those who can’t stand introducing themselves.

Examples:You know how many young couples dream of buying their first home?
What I do is provide first time homeowner financing to make that possible.
I'm a mortgage broker.

You know how big brands like Starbucks and Target have great visual branding?
What I do is great visual branding for people.
I’m a personal branding coach, specializing in all things visual.

You know how many people struggle with their weight, or have backaches and knee problems?
What I do is relieve pain and reduce weight with strength training, which creates an improved physical condition.
I'm a Certified Strength and Conditioning Coach - a personal trainer at the highest level.

Why it worksThe first sentence gets the person your speaking (your audience) with to "go along for the ride." After the first sentence that is in the form of a question you should get a confirming nod or a "yeah" showing that they are "with you." They will "get it" if you have used a highly relatable problem.

The second sentence, states in an easy to understand way what you do. The second sentence "pays off" the first sentence.

The third sentence gives your official title and reinforces sentence two.

 A Few More Tips:
When you use the same word(s) repeatedly, it makes it easier for your audience to understand. The more they "get it" the more likely you are going to hear those three little words, we all long to hear "tell me more!"

Avoid acronyms, or if you use them, explain them. A variation on the last part of the second sentence of the first example might be: I’m a CSCS, a Certified Strength and Conditioning Coach. You never want your audience to have to guess at what you do.

Remember to keep it simple. It should be simple enough that your average 12 year-old would “get it.” You can always elaborate on what you do.

Be prepared for success by having a few business cards in your purse or pocket, you very well may get asked for one!

Try it out and let me know how it works for you! You just might have to find something else not to stand!

Love thyself; Love thy brand

Any successful businessperson will tell you that they have to authentically believe in the product they offer. Every product has features and benefits, as well as weaknesses and flaws.

In marketing we “tell the better” story. For example if we are marketing Coke, we talk about how it is “the pause that refreshes” not the drink that is full of sugar.

In personal branding – YOU are the product. In order to have a successful business, you need to LOVE the product, you represent – YOURSELF!

As simple as this may sound, many Solopreneurs (solo-entrepreneurs) have a lot of trouble talking about them without apology.  This happens for several reasons. Many of us have been taught at an early age that it is not good to “toot your own horn. We have also been instructed that it is rude to talk about yourself and even worse to talk about yourself in a positive manner. These old beliefs hinder your ability to present yourself in a dynamic, confident manner. When you operate under such a belief system you greatly hinder your ability to have the kind of success you deserve and desire.

Solopreneurs are afraid that they will sound like they are selling themselves. If you can change your belief and know that you have something of value to offer (and YOU DO!) you are then simply letting people know what you do in case they need your help. There is no selling needed. In fact, if you fail to let those you come in contact with know what you do, you are doing them a great disservice.

Next time you introduce yourself remember to do it with pride. Speak clearly, with authority. Leave the apology and self-deprecating attitude behind. You will become instantly more attractive and may even hear the three little words we all long to hear – tell me more!

It’s your brand shout about it!